NOTE*- These are my observations and personal experience.
You ever notice how the circumstance in which you meet and/or you are introduced to someone else will likely determine how you perceive, behave, and interact towards them?
When Age Difference was significant
When we were younger and we were introduced to us someone “significantly” older than us, we tend to address them as Mr. or Ms./Mrs. During this period of time in our lives how we address, interact, and perceive people seems to be dependent on the age difference. However, by the time we reach a certain age even when we are introduced to other people older than us we make the shift towards calling them by their first name. By this time, age disparity becomes less significant and the emphasis shifts more towards how you met them, in what circumstance or setting.
Even when we have reached an age where we address just about anyone we meet by their first name, it will be unlikely that we will be able to start calling those we met (when age was a bigger factor) in the past where we initially address them as Mr. Smith or Mrs.Smith to call them by their first names.
Title to our encounter
I know of several graduate students, most of them going for their Master’s and a few for their PhD. For the ones that I met when they are PhD students, I perceive them as another college student, a classmate, someone on the same playing field. And assuming these PhD students one day goes onto becoming professors (since most professors have PhDs) I will still perceive them as an equal, as another person that I have a “real” conversation with outside the scope of academics. Simply because I met them when they had a different and more personal “title”. I can continue to call them by their first name e.g. John Smith instead of Professor or Dr. Smith. I don’t feel obligated or awkward to address them by their title.
Setting of our Encounter
In one instance I arrived early to a ballroom club meeting and so I got the chance to practice with this young guy who apparently was going give us lessons because he is an international ballroom dancer. This guy appeared to be in his mid 20s, and at the latest late 20s. We introduced each other. I don’t want to reveal his real name so I’ll just give him another name of Markus Spinner. He taught me some of these basic waltz steps for a bit. Later when I sat down to take a break from waltzing, I started talking to the other lead instructor of the club and I learned that Markus is actually a professor in the CS department. It is surprising to see a professor participate in a student organization. It’s like “WOW! you’re human and know how to socialize!” haha…I know, I find it difficult to picture a professor outside a classroom environment. Anyway, since I met this person as Markus Spinner and not professor/Dr. Markus Spinner, plus he is not my professor and won’t ever be, therefore I never felt strange awkward after that to address him by his first name or interacting towards him as another person, as oppose to another professor. I would feel less inhibited to converse with him about non-scholarly content.
Reverse the situation a bit
Let’s reverse it a bit and let’s say that I entered my class and my professor introduced to the class professor Markus Spinner, then I could almost never go shift to the mentality of this professor is just another person. The setting in how we meet Markus this time stamps in our mind and categorizes Markus as PROFESSOR and automatically semi-separates and determines how we should interact and what we can talk about with this professor. We are not on the same equal field to start out with, so we feel the need self-segregate ourselves. Whereas, in the former situation, we start out on the same field…it was something we had in common that we were doing at our own leisure. Personally, it would be very difficult for me to engage in a conversation outside the scope of academia, unless I can somehow engineer the conversation. Much like the Half Empty, Half Full glass image, it’s basically the same glass of water, but viewing comes from a different people thus with a different point of view, plus each person is viewing it from a different angle.
Observation Summary
Perhaps it’s in their, or our title, status, and/or the environment setting in which we meet that influence our relationship with people. Whichever and whatever it may, it does have a subconscious impact on how we interact with others, how we perceive others and ourselves, as well as our perception of situations.
Quote of the day
”What you see and hear depends a good deal on where you are standing”
-The Social Nerd
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