Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Colors of Life is a Continuum

Life is full of Color

However, since a young age we were taught about right, wrong, good, bad, yes, no, evil, and well..good again. These overly-simplified teachings were meant to help guide us in making  decisions for ourselves. Evidently as we grew and matured we learned that life is not cut and dry and that life is very complex. We learn that life is not black and white, it is not just good or bad, right or wrong, or even a yes or no. But rather life is colorful, complex, has a continuum that colors go from one to the next, even black and white have shades going from black to white or white to black. Although life becomes more complex and situations become more sophisticated, that is what makes life colorful and beautiful. We also learn that without the bad guys, there wouldn't be any good guys.

The Hero In Each Story
Without a villain there would be no hero, or the need for a hero means that there is villain (note- the villain and hero I refer to may not always be in the form of a human) the need for "good" people means that there needs to have "bad" people. Not only were we only taught the simplified extremes, as a matter of fact we were told who the mean/bad guys and over time we learned to identify them in movies and stores. But because we were often taught the extremes of our lives and rarely ever the shades of colors, we find it difficult  polarize the colors - difficult to polarize our emotions, judgement, and reason. We were never taught how to identify, filter out, and separate the colors in our hearts from our brains.

Furthermore, not only were we not taught how to identify, and filter out our emotions, but also our own reasoning. And the reason for that is that like everyone else in this world we don't know how to explain nor teach that kind of concept and how to apply the technique, plus many of us (adults) are still learning and for some have never even gotten close.

Ever heard an adult tell you, "You'll understand when you get older"? That is what I often hear adults say when they find it either difficult to explain a concept or knowing how to express them in simplified form.
We were never taught how to look at life through another lens so it becomes incredibly difficult when we have to do it for ourselves.

The frequency that such situations occur in my micro-society is frequent enough that I've learned a lot from it from a young age. The intensity of these situations has range from weak to strong to ultra intense. Thus, it has refined and sharpen my skills in this area, but of course there is still so much to learn, because each conflict presents itself slightly differently.

1st. filter out between emotions and reason/judgement
2nd. filter out your own reason -Is it rational? Is the point you're trying to make sound? Is it relevant? Are there any fallacies?
3rd - filter out your own emotions - How do you feel? Why do you feel this way? Did I overreact? Did I react appropriately?

We are sometimes our own worst enemis


Colorize your thinking questions!
Do bad decisions make a bad person?
Is the best option always the right thing to do?
Is the "right" thing to do always the best option?

"The very thing that gives you pleasure today, will bring you pain tomorrow."

The Social Nerd

Saturday, February 25, 2012

Living With Purpose Or Living In Fear?



How differently would we live if we knew the exact date, time, and how we would die?
Would we start to live with [more] purpose?
Be more daring and less fearful?
Or would we [continue] living in fear with the knowledge of our death haunting us or mortal fears?
Or would we live trying to alter a predetermined fate?

It is because we don't know how, when, and where we will die that we forget we are mortals, subjected to a universal, inevitable end fate..called "death"...
Remembering that we will all die at some point is a great motivator to push us to not just to exist, but to live.

-The Social Nerd

Monday, February 20, 2012

We are always getting ready to live, but never living


Yeah, I read the title from Lifehacker too. It makes me wonder if I've fallen victim to this ...conjecture?
I'm putting my own perspective to it.

Somewhat ridiculous...but it seems that people don't know what to do with their life, but rather what not to do with their life. Very few people actually know what they want to make of themselves. I have asked a few of my friends, younger, and a few years older and they seem to give me very similar answers. I have a few that have told me they don't know, others tell me their plans and goals of what they want to do, not necessarily what they want from their life. We all want something from our life, unfortunately we don't know what that something is, and often times we get so caught up with life that we stop searching for it.

I'm no statistician...
I don't have any numbers, evidence, or data to back up my claim...statistics...is simply another form of illusion for man to reassure himself that what he believes is "logical", by backing it up with numerous numerical data. I observe people, social interactions, document my thoughts, my "findings" if you will, on society and its overall pattern. Yeah, I'm aware that my observations have its limitations in that it is full of biases. I don't think I ever really recall anyone that when asked what they want from their life that they could give me a confident, definitive answer. Perhaps they are too afraid to admit that they have no flipping clue what they want to do.


Throw Me A Lemon....Because I Need Something To Do...
People that don't know what they want to do with their life end up settling, more or less, for whatever life throws at them. This is not saying that these people do not have any dreams, goals, or ambitions of their own, but rather on their journey to reach these goals they get swept by other unexpected minor journeys that often times overshadow their original objective. In other words, we lose sight of our original purpose for
treading a particular path. The light at the end of the tunnel needs to be in sight, be conscious to make decisions so that it takes you step closer towards that light.

From Business Trip to Pleasure Trip....to Tangent Trip
So you initially have a business trip that you need to take. Of course when you take this business trip you also meet new people, see new faces, explore new places, and perhaps encounter a different set of social norms. You are someone full of ambitions, career goals, potential to further improve yourself. hat you didn't expect was that you would meet someone during this business trip of yours and the two of you exchanged contact information. Well, one thing leads to another  and before you know it the two of you are in constant communication. Now eventually, you two dated and then married. Ok, so that was unexpected, but love happens? Love finds you in the most unexpected places, so that tangent is semi-acceptable. However, once you are married and settle down, it becomes more difficult to fulfill one's original goals and purpose. I originally thought about this because of the film "The Other Man" starring Liam Neeson and Antonio Banderas.

I gave this quick and simplified example to show that often times we don't know what we want from life and thus often times just let tangents happen to us and we forget about our initially purpose.

Sources
http://lifehacker.com/5878626/we-are-always-getting-ready-to-live-but-never-living

"I intend to live forever, or die trying"

-The Social Nerd

Friday, February 17, 2012

It is Disorder that Attracts Attention because it is Awkward and Intrusive.

Order is Never Observed. It is Disorder that Attracts Attention because it is Awkward and Intrusive.
An incredibly true statement! A fancy way of reminding us that we all want to stand out, but also want to fit in. One of life's conundrum is that as much as we want to stand out, we also crave to fit in with society. I totally stole this from lifehacker! Lifehacker has a short post on it so I'm just expanding on what I think it means.

Life comprises of many spectrums. Wanting to "stand out" lies on the far opposite end of "fitting in".
So there's gotta be some sort of balance. Yeah, sure, there are those that definitely stand out ...perhaps in a more positive, and then there are some that always fit in or stand out in non-pleasant manner. So something tells me there is balance, a sweet spot where standing out just in the right areas such as the right situations, for the right reasons, personality, and the behavior should naturally reflect, thus portraying a more desirable image.

The Trouble With "Fitting In"
Fitting in is overrated. Trying to fit in inhibits and limits our ability to think creatively, to act reasonably, and most importantly it hinders our ability to live with purpose. People that stand out have embraced what makes them unique and crafted those areas of their personality to into a more desirable image. I have met those that I find are very skilled at drawing certain qualities of themselves at will and they do it such an appealing way by concealing their true personalities, emotions while eliciting it from others.

The Trouble With "Standing Out"
I have also met those who also stand out very much, but how they stand out is a part their natural personality, they haven't crafted themselves effectively. They already have the natural personality of standing out, but because there is a lack of structure the standing out becomes somewhat of a deficiency. Uniqueness without structure and without the following: keen sense of awareness, sharp sense of judgement, tact, word choice, decisions, purpose ...would actually hurt us. An example would be when it attracts unwanted attention.

Personality, Speech, Conduct, ...Sense of Humor
The former can usually morph into almost any personality, reflecting a range of behaviors, adapt to almost any situation, with anyone with ease while radiating a pleasant personality. It is a personality that stands out just enough -  What I describe should not be confused with superficiality - which is shallow, undeveloped, more or less without purpose. I am not trying to endorse superficiality nor am I encouraging you to be someone you're not, but rather take a different perspective, it is refreshing.

I don't enjoy a lot of activities that most other people enjoy such as watching football, watching sports in general, or idle talk.

In high school every time friends got together it seemed that there was a need to do something, which the reason could be that with a larger group of people, for everyone to be included required an activity as oppose to just sitting, eating, and talking..

I am no expert in one area, but am an expert in knowing a little about a range of areas.

Hopefully, we will at least once in our lives create some sort of disorder because it reveals to us at the moment our natural being and our inner self that we've been subconsciously trying to control.

Sources
http://lifehacker.com/5881054/order-is-never-observed-it-is-disorder-that-attracts-attention-because-it-is-awkward-and-intrusive

http://goinswriter.com/jack-of-all-trades/

"Order Is Never Observed. It Is Disorder That Attracts Attention Because It is Awkward and Intrusive"
-The Social Nerd